cmonguy9 (December 31, 1969 at 5:59 pm)

holy shit! you have a hundred of them

padaalsa (December 31, 1969 at 5:59 pm)

"You're alive, you're alive, you're alive, you're dead." Anyone who likes this guy should check out Mitch Hedberg. Think of this guy on crack.

MistahDroory (December 31, 1969 at 5:59 pm)

At least road accidents are interesting for a few minutes.

voodoothebeast (December 31, 1969 at 5:59 pm)

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.

voodoothebeast (December 31, 1969 at 5:59 pm)

thx bro ..but the signifier has nothing to do with signified..;)A fool and his money are soon partying.A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store... with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."

TheWildGiraffe (December 31, 1969 at 5:59 pm)

dude he doesnt like either one of them...why are you TRYING to make him like Dane Cook

cajunhornet60 (December 31, 1969 at 5:59 pm)

LOVE this guy!!! lol

cmonguy9 (December 31, 1969 at 5:59 pm)

that's pretty funny, and good name btw, i like voodoo

qwak95 (December 31, 1969 at 5:59 pm)

LOL!!!"They're getting hit by a train... naturally, they'll die.""Swear to tell the truth etc... 'yes, you're ugly'"

voodoothebeast (December 31, 1969 at 5:59 pm)

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back